How to motivate your kid (or yourself) to practise an instrument

Have you ever had your child unhappy or reluctant to practise their instrument? Or have you been traumatised yourself, being pushed to learn an instrument when you were young, and your only memories are of endless solfège lessons and sitting in the stuffy living room of your eccentric retired piano teacher?

I am sure you can imagine that this has been a struggle throughout the history of instrumental lessons, but now imagine our overstimulated kids of the 21st century and modern technology interfering and distracting them even more. Of course it will be difficult for any child to muster not only the mental capacity and physical energy, but also the control and lack of overstimulation that the fast entertainment of smartphones and TVs can provide.

If we offer our children the choice between practising an instrument for delayed gratification, or immediate gratification through the stimulation of visual screens, I think most children will choose the second. And who could blame them? This ends up being a pain every time the practice session comes up, and in the end everyone is just screaming and crying. So why even bother to force an instrument onto a kid?

Well, it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. There are many tricks you can apply, to make practise time and playing an instrument more enjoyable.

The benefits to including music into a child’s curriculum

Making music is an impressive thing for our brain; playing a musical instrument throughout life is associated with a lower risk of developing dementia [1]. This has been attributed to the ability of musical training and performance to increase the resiliency of the brain. Playing a musical instrument requires active engagement of a wide range of cognitive processes, including the sensory and motor systems [2]. Studies have also shown that brain regions associated with emotion and reward respond to emotionally powerful music, and that music elicits changes in physiological, as well as subjective, measures of emotion [3].

In other words - giving your child the chance to learn music will not only make their brains more flexible and prevent them from Alzheimer’s, but will also give them the opportunity to express feelings and get a deeper understanding of those emotions when listening to music.

Another interesting benefit to practicing an instrument is learning about commitment and rigor, to push to the end of each practice session, and to get the regular reward for visible success by finishing a piece.

In action

But as we all know, telling a child about studies and how they won’t forget their grand-children’s names when they are 80, will not suffice to get them to be more motivated to spend quality time with their instruments. Here are some practical tips on how to have your child fall in love with music, and make practice time enjoyable and satisfying.

1. Make it an indispensable and daily task

Do you think about whether or not to shower or brush your teeth every day, and spend hours procrastinating? No - because it’s not a question, it is part of our routine, a habit that our brain loves executing because it takes much less energy than taking decisions. I always advise my pupils to practise every single day, and attach it to an already existing routine - for example always practise before/after dinner, practise between breakfast and school, or right after brushing your teeth. Our amazing brain quickly catalogues practising as part of the routine and skips out on procrastination. For a start, practising 5 good minutes each day is so much better than spending an hour on the piano just before the next lesson, cramming all week’s practise in an effort not to disappoint the teacher.

1. Inspiration

I can not stress enough how important it is for a child to be inspired by music. Inspiration can be activated, captured, and manipulated, and this is a gift that we as parents can give our offspring. Children can be so impressed and inspired when being taken to a live concert. Listen to classical music, ask your teacher for a list of pieces that your child can play in the upcoming year, and spend time actively listening to the compositions. Get a feeling for what inspires you and your child, and always let them choose their future pieces on their instrument. Personally, I always play at least three pieces for my pupils to choose from and give them responsibility with their choice, which not only inspires more, but also adds personal affection.

1. The parent / teacher role

You are your child’s first and most important teacher in life, the most amazing and greatest human being in the world. Even without musical knowledge you can be a great teacher by just listening to them, and learning with them. It is easy to hear, especially at the beginning, if notes are wrong, or if the sound isn’t right. Through regular participation in practice sessions, it will be easy for any parent to spot how to improve any piece. Most piano teachers will also be very happy for parents to listen to their lessons, which gives you the opportunity to know how to work better at home and what to care about during practice. Very rarely are kids less concentrated with a parent in the room (in which case I might ask parents to leave for a few sessions) but in most cases it is hugely beneficial.

1. The teacher

I cannot stress enough how important the teacher - pupil connection is. It is definitely one of the main determinants on how much your child will love their new musical activity.

Do not hesitate to have several trial lessons with teachers before determining which one clicks the best with your child. If after the first lesson with a teacher your child doesn’t come running with a smile on their face saying that they want to learn more, it’s not the right match. Find a teacher that your child would like to aspire to as a human being first and foremost, before checking any diplomas they might have (which is obviously also important).

Get references, or ask around your circle of friends for recommendations. Search for a teacher that loves sharing their skills with the new generation and really knows how to teach in a productive and inspiring way.

1. Build a community around the instrument

This is what has inspired me to start my music camps last year - to build a safe and inspiring place for young musicians to share their creativity, play music together, and get excited to work on their instrument. This has been much more successful than I had imagined. Often, playing an instrument means being alone, without anyone to share your journey with. Through shared pupil’s concerts and music camps, kids have the opportunity to come together and be a part of something bigger. They learn to listen to each other through choral, dance and chamber music (playing in a group) and through practice they feel and breathe the language of music together. Finally, playing in concerts gives them a sense of purpose and a huge boost in motivation, to prepare, work hard and show off a great performance.

1. Practise, practise, practise.

And finally, yes, unfortunately there is no way around this one. How do you get better at anything? What is the only way to get better? As Steven King said: ‘Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.’ Or as my mother (a piano teacher and a very wise woman indeed) used to say: ‘if it was so easy, everyone would do it!’ What makes it special is the hard work behind it.

Practice equals time plus effort - but it can have incredible results.

Quotes

1. Balbag MA, Pedersen NL, Gatz M (2014) Playing a Musical Instrument as a Protective Factor against Dementia and Cognitive Impairment: A Population-Based Twin Study. International Journal of Alzheimer's Disease 2014, 6.

2. Herholz Sibylle C, Zatorre Robert J (2012) Musical Training as a Framework for Brain Plasticity: Behavior, Function, and Structure. Neuron 76, 486-502.

3. Arjmand H-A, Hohagen J, Paton B and Rickard NS (2017) Emotional Responses to Music: Shifts in Frontal Brain Asymmetry Mark Periods of Musical Change. Front. Psychol. 8:2044. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02044